|Deviant Login||Shop||Join deviantART for FREE||Take the Tour|
We Are Complicated Part 1Avril
So, I'm sitting outside the school, right? And this chick pulls up in a BMW. A BMW, right? Who even gets one of those pieces of wallet vampires in high school? Anyway, I'm watching this preppy chick go inside, dropping some money in my guitar case. Like, really? Rude. I may look a little ragged, but I'm not just some bum playing guitar to survive, I was just bored before school. My daddy doesn't pay for my car, like yours, but I can support myself. She's just another spoiled rich kid, just like every other girl here.
So, I'm walking up to the gates of Walker High, and there's this punk girl sitting on the bannister on the way up the steps. I mean, did you see the way she looked at me, such vitriol. So, I mean, in a show of kindness, I dropped a little money in her guitar case. I mean, not a lot, just a couple of hundred dollars, something to get her a nice couple of outfits, or a makeover. I haven't really been able to make any new friends at most of my last high schools.
Transgender Day of RemembranceTransgender Day of Remembrance
I walked into class today,
Dressed in my finest dress,
My cutest shoes,
A pair of cute gloves,
And my hair teased,
And I cried when I looked in the mirror.
He came to school,
Looking so cool,
With his hair cut short,
A leather jacket,
And a motorcycle helmet,
And he cried when he looked in the mirror.
She kissed her papa,
Her mama cried.
She walked down the street,
The first time in a new age,
And she stopped for a moment,
And she cried when she looked in the mirror.
I walked in the front door,
My sister stood mouth agape.
She swore heartily,
My clothes borrowed,
And never asked for,
And I cried when I looked in the mirror.
He grabbed his keys,
Hopped off to go riding,
Angry at his parents,
His girlfriend was near,
And she loved him,
While he cried when he looked in the mirror.
She walked in the office,
Handed in her resignation.
Her boss glared at her,
But she didn’t care.
And she walked off triumphant,
But she cried when she looked in the mirror.
Chapter 17Chapter 17
Luna vs. Zeus and Hera, Part 2!
Hestia greets all of us at the door. “Oh what a pleasant surprise, dears, come in, come in~”
Ganymede smiles at her. “Hiya, Aunt Hestia!”
Hestia pinches his cheeks. “Such a sweet boy. Anything I can get all of you? Tea, Ambrosia?”
I shake my head. “No thank you, Hestia. We came for a specific reason.”
Hestia sighs. “Oh… Brother and Sister. They’re in their room.”
The door to the master bedroom slams open. “OLD ONE, ENTER. ALONE.”
I scoff. “Fine, I’m not scared of you.” I walk in.
Hera and Zeus both glare at me, eyes golden. “OLD ONE, YOU HAVE MESSED WITH FORCES YOU CAN’T HOPE TO FATHOM.”
I smirk. “I’m dealing with a Type-A Anal Alpha Bitch, and her equally terrible husband. I’ve never seen a more dysfunctional family. And I watched three episodes of Keeping up with the Kardashians.”
Zeus stands up str
Chapter 16Chapter 16
ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!
So Road Trip, yes. According to the GPS we got from the Hermes Express, the closest God is Dionysius, in a vineyard up in Oregon. So we head up there first.
Agatha: “I’m bored… Can’t we get there any quicker?”
Me: “We’ll get there, when we get there!”
Nick: “Mom, I’ve got to use the bathroom!”
Cindi: “Well, you shoulda gone before we left!”
Tobias: “Mooooooom, Aphrodite’s poking me!”
Me: “SO HELP ME, I WILL TURN THIS LIMO AROUND.”
Athena: “Nicholas, won’t you roll that window back up, please? I can’t read with the wind blowing on my pages.”
Aphrodite: “Who reads in a limo? You’re such a fuddy-duddy, Thene.”
Me: “Nick, roll up the window, I’m trying to focus on driving! I never got a license, and this damn limo flies. That’s innately more difficult.”
Agatha: “MOM, APHROD
Chapter 15Chapter 15
Does Anyone Watch This Show?
All right, so everything was going great, right? We get the first episode filmed, casting was a snap, hell, the studio audience loved it. We start filming the second episode, and BAM! Everything starts falling apart. I don’t know how. I mean, last season DID end on a cliffhanger, and everyone was glad we finished it. But still, I don’t know what’s going on? I mean, I guess it was a kinda cute action-y romantic comedy… and then BAM! DRAMA-LAMA-DING-DONG. That was a bit rough, I guess. We really coulda led up to it better. And by “we”, I mean the Author of course.
Ack, another call. “In my defense, I was blithely ignorant of the fact that this would be popular enough to warrant a sequel, and thus, a second season for your show.”
“Your ending for the last one was completely out of left field, Caroline, and you know it.”
“Again, in my defense, I was attempting to wrap up the story so
Chapter 14Chapter 14
Time for Me to Angst for the Rest of the Book! Or Something Equally Bullshit!
After we walk out of there, Cindi Grabs my by the collar. “WHAT THE HELL, LUNA, WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? YOU ARE A CRUEL AND ANGRY GOD, YOU KNOW THAT?”
Nick crosses his arms. “Yeah, that was a bit uncouth. There was literally no need for that. For either of those curses.”
I glare at Nick. “Have you felt omniscience? HAVE YOU? NO? THEN TELL ME THERE WAS NO NEED. TELL ME FOR CERTAIN. I WILL DEFER TO YOUR JUDGEMENT, OH THOU THAT ARE HOLIER THAN GOD.”
He glares back at me. “I think you are a power drunk tyrant.”
The air around me heats up several degrees. Cindi gives me a tight hug before I’m able to fry his ass, though. “Luna… You’re scaring me… Where is that girl three chapters ago who wanted to help a girl pick up her homework assignments?”
I look her dead in the eyes. “She became a Mother. To races innumerable.
Chapter 13Chapter 13
Hey, Maybe Something Nice Will Happen This Time!
Hey look, it’s chapter 13! That’s the good one, right? …Why do I feel this horrible sense of foreboding? I take a look at the calendar… November 15th. When did we skip a day?
Caroline calls me again. “I’m sorry... I had a rough day yesterday. Ironically, because as you know, 13 is my favorite number. But anyway, I’m back, and you can go get Zeus now. Good luck! You’ll need it~”
I blink. “Why must every conversation with her seem vaguely menacing?”
Anyway, so we show up at the Playboy mansion. “All right guys, as much as we quite obviously all want to look at everyone but, we have to focus on finding Zeus. Hestia gave us a picture of him, so if you see him, call. We’ll be right there. Zeus is notorious for absconding with young men and women. So… Don’t get caught, all right? That would be bad.”
We all nod and split up. “Meda
Chapter 12Chapter 12
A Wild Goose Chase… Or is it a Peahen Chase?
So, St. Louis. That’s really random. Why St. Louis? Anyways, we’re here. Wish I knew where she was. I get a call from Caroline. “INCOMING. I’ve got a present for you!”
Oof, jerk, what’d you have to run- “Nick?”
Nick falls down, clutching the book. “Great, you’re here already. I was hoping you would be. Tickets to St. Louis are expensive on a broke college student’s paycheck.”
I sigh. “Did you read the whole thing, then?”
He nods. “It’s trippy. Anyway, here to help you guys. So… Greek Gods?”
I nod. “Caroline’s pulling stuff from her ass the past couple of chapters. Apollo sexually harassed us, Artemis tried to sexually harass us, Hephaestus’s robots pissed off Cindi, and Athena is a surprisingly ditzy Goddess of Wisdom.”
He nods. “Right, I got all of that. Anyway, I found out their house
Chapter 11Chapter 11
We Search for a Chronic Bird Brain
So once more, into the fray. The SMART option to avoid running in circles to find Athena would be to contact Apollo again. The SANE option, however, is to get as far away from him as possible. Maybe the Virgin Goddess of Strategy and Wisdom will hit on us less. One can hope. I mean, Artemis was supposed to be a virgin Goddess too.
Cindi stops me as we get to porting off. “Well, where do we go first?”
I think for a bit. “If I was a Fallen Angel desperately searching for Wisdom, where would I go? I’m tempted to say MIT, but that’s the obvious answer, and there’s no way she’d be in the obvious place. Same with West Point. And we all know Harvard and Yale are sister schools that breed the spawn of Satan-“
“DID SOMEONE SAY-“
“NOT NOW, LUCI- Actually, you can help us. Any info on Fallen Angels?”
He thinks for a bit. “Are you asking in general, or on a specific one?
Chainsaw Vigilante Fanfic Part 3Climbing up the fire escape behind her apartment block later that night, or rather morning, she enters through her apartment window, locking it behind her and putting down the blinds before tossing her chainsaw on the arm chair with a yawn and a stretch.
She shrugs off her leather jacket as she walks by her clock, hitting the button just as the alarm goes off for nine o’ clock before popping her spine with another stretch.
“Man, I really gotta stop pulling these all-nighters.” She says as she takes off her mask and rubs her tired eyes “A robbery, a super hero barbeque, and a super villain scheme, all in one night! What a workout.”
She finishes changing out of her costume, stowing it in a box beneath her bed, and makes herself a cup of coffee, before exiting through her front door to see, as usual, Mrs. Lavern standing there with her black Pekinese, Mr. Snuffles.
“Hayley could you…”
“Sure thing Mrs. Lavern.” She says sle
The Alverdale Tangle - Act 1. Chpt - 1Laying Down The Law
Robert Blake's tranquil solitude is shattered by the invasion of his sister— and she comes bearing a most displeasing of ultimatums.
The sombre and musty rooms of Greyvale Hall failed to swallow or muffle the shrill tones of Maris Barnham as she shrieked her daily disgruntlements. The afore-mentioned Mr. Robert Blake reclined in his lounge chair, the lengthy columns of that morning's unread news occupying his full attention. He often took to the library simply to avoid his sister's reprimands, and since returning to the ancestral home after his years away as a practising barrister, the untouched volumes of literary knowledge housed upon those shelves had been his silent, unread, companions.
Mister Robert Blake was content to have it remain thus, for silent company was by far the best, in his far from
Kirby's Fun at the Hotel Hedonist Ultra CH2 The next day, which also required the group to get up at five in the morning, Ribbon led the others into the center of a very large busting city. They were all standing on the sidewalk just looking around.
“Wow! This place sure is lively!” Kirby exclaimed.
“And very loud!” Minta groaned covering her ears to shield them from the car honking.
“Quit whining,” Ribbon muttered, “I need a black coffee. You guys wait here and don't screw anything up while I'm gone! I'm looking at you ADELEINE!”
“What?” Adeleine said innocently hiding a very visible running chainsaw behind her back.
“Just forget it! There's no hope with you!” Ribbon fussed walking off.
“Did you hear that?” Kirby asked the others once Ribbon walked into a coffee shop.
The All-Alex Rejects Chapter 5“And here we are,” Alex Jr. said, “The Eastern Brain Penitentiary.” Alex Jr. lowered the paper. Paeton, Morgana, and Alex Jr. looked at the building. It was a dark and forbidding place, constructed of concrete and metal. The sky was pitch black around it. “Erm…Maybe Mars is somewhere else. Somewhere…less forbidding.”
“Hey, you got the map,” Paeton said, “You’re the only one who knows where he went. And if you wasted 2 hours trying to get that map, then we are sure as Hell going in there and finding Mars in there…” She grabbed Alex Jr. by his tie. “Or I will strangle you with your own tie. Understand?!”
“If you do kill me, could I have a last request of getting to cop a feel?” Paeton started to tighten Alex Jr.’s tie. It became harder for him to breathe.”Okay,” he choked, “I’ll keep my mouth shut.” Paeton let go and he loosened his tie
Kirby's Fun at the Hotel Hedonist Ultra CH1 “Mama mia! That's-a ugly-a meat-a ball!” Adeleine exclaimed loudly for her friend Bumble to hear.
“ExCUSE me?! Them be fighting words!” Bumble growled in anger spinning around to face the painter. His glare vanished when he saw she was looking through a pair of binoculars towards some grassy plains from behind a bush.
“Fighting words?” Adeleine asked, “Say wha?”
“Oops,” the waddle dee said with a sweatdrop, “I'm sorry, I thought you were talking about me.”
Adeleine smirked and asked, “Is someone self-conscious about his appearance?”
“Shut up!” Bumble shouted flailing his arms while Ade laughed, “What are you looking at anyway?”
“Oh just some weird animal. This is a first for me.”
Savior-Final 1D Trollfic-Chapter 16me:HOW IS THAT POSSIBlE!? tiffany: our friendship and our love for jesus got me pregnent me:i dont understand tiffany our christian love got me pregnent me:so that means your pregent with a holy virgin baby that protects you from lesbenism! tiffany:yes thats right ill get you pregent later but now we have to save maklemore!! me:you know about maklemore? tiffany:yes i learned their secret plans remember? me: oh so we ran to the place where maklemore was gonna perform with gay direction we saw maklemore with his agent maklemore:hi girls you want an autograph or something? me:GAY DIRECTION ARE PLANNING ON RAPING YOU SO YOULL PUT A SUBLIMINAL MESSAGE IN SAME LOVE!!!!!! maklemore:that is so wrong homophobia is wrong thats why i wrote that song agent: please leave us alone so we left but we hid backstage in case of gay direction just as maklemore was getting ready to perform...................GAY DIRECTION WERE SNEAKING UP ON HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! me:NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
The Gamewars Chapter 10, 11, and 12Chapter 10
"Hold the line! Do not let the Minecrafters get through!" said a Robloxian with a gun. Robloxian tanks were stationed beside a hill and the soldiers were armed with guns. The Minecraft force advanced on them an hour before, despite it being near midnight, and the Robloxians were holding them back. The Robloxians held their fire until the Minecrafters fired their TNT cannons. "Open fire!" a Robloxian General said. Flashes lit the still air as the smell of burnt gunpowder and the whistling of bullets were heard all around them. Arrows flew past the Robloxian soldiers, missing them by millimeters. The Robloxian tanks were powerful, but they were very slow at reloading. Even a Minecraft TNT cannon reloads faster. "Hurry, don't let their TNT cannons through!" a Robloxian said. A Robloxian named SB8973 (nickname SB) exclaimed,"It's no use! We either surrender or die!" Minecraft infantry charged in with diamond swords and iron armor. Then the Robloxians saw flashes in
A Thing I Did Part 1Here is a thing I did. Due to the fact that mos tof it was written post 2 am I had a friend go through and correct grammatical shiz. Also it's heavily influenced by Space Dandy so expect stupidity to ensue.
A thin smoke hung in the air. The smell of whiskey and tobacco clung to the walls like a parasite. And the Smooth tones of old timey Jazz crept into the ears of the clubs patrons. In the corner of the club sat in the shadows and the smoke was a young man in his twenties. He had short dark messy hair and unshaven stubble, wearing an old battered navy blue suit and worn leather shoes.
‘’Don’t lose this one Reed. We can’t let another pay cheque walk away.’’ An old familiar voice rung out through his head
‘’ Yeah, yeah old man. Don’t worry.’’
‘’Don’t call m-‘’ the voice cut out as he pulled the earpiece from his left ear.
Crunching an ice cube between his teeth, Reed moved over to the
A Treatise on Procrastination.A Treatise on Procrastination: The Art, The Science, The Magic.
Procrastination, is a very unique skill, unlike anything else you can put your mind to. It is an art, a science, an act of magic.
Well, kind of. It's something that only certain people can get away with. People can procrastinate forever.
Keep in Touch!
Bluefley has a gallery filled with artwork that whisks you off in to a Sci-fi daydream, and keeps you captivated for hours. Marc has been a member of our community for over a decade and has achieved nothing but success with his astounding commitment to interacting with the community, sharing a prolific amount of video tutorials and generally being an all round rockstar deviant. It is no joke that we are absolutely delighted to award the Deviousness Award for April 2014 to ... Read More